Friday, February 08, 2008

Death(almost) by Porkchop

The events in this post are true. They occured on the evening of Feb. 6th, 2008. I was too traumatized to talk about it yesterday. Here is my story:

Dateline: Chez Cheeky

I had prepared a delicious meal. Steamed carrots and cauliflower with lemon butter (just a touch), roasted asparagus (with olive oil, garlic, and again a little lemon), and grilled porkchops with the bone - just a wee little bit of charring on the edge but a little is ok (hey... shut up I am not, now nor have I ever been a grill master - that is Mr. Cheeky's job mmmkay?).

I was expecting Mr. Cheeky to be home early and so the meal was prepped and ready. I waited. I waited. I waited. The meal was getting cold so I decided I was just going to go ahead and eat while it was hot. It was yummy.

Mr. Cheeky gets home later and is sitting down to enjoy his meal. I had been downstairs and came up to chat with him while he ate. There before me on the plate was one of the extra chops calling my name. So, I decided to have just a weeeeee little bit from the sweet spot (you know, the little piece of meat beside the bone - one side is bigger than the other - the sweet spot is the small side....oh just go look at a chop then you will know what I am talking about - and it is the sweet spot). So I pulled it off the bone and proceeded to enjoy this porkly goodness.

Then, it happened. I breathed. And the smallest little piece of the charred edge decided to go on a little vacation... down my windpipe. I immediately began coughing. And coughing. And coughing. I couldn't breathe in much because if I did it would go further down.

Mr. Cheeky: Are you choking?
Cheeky: Coughing and shaking my head yes cause I can't talk
Mr. Cheeky: Do I need to come do the heimlich on you?
Cheeky: Coughing and shaking my head no cause cause that wasn't going to help. And I really didn't need anyone thrusting their fist into me from behind while I am trying to cough.

So I continued to hack and hack and hack. It was just a tiny little piece that was stuck to my wind pipe. I hacked and hacked for about 10 minutes and even folded myself over the stool so gravity could help. And then the little piece of char finally decided that it was too windy and noisey in that location to have a proper vacation and decided to vacation some where else.

I just knew that had I not managed to get it out my tombstone would have read:

Here lies Cheeky - Death by Porkchop!
Posted byWendy aka Cheeky :: 6:34 AM :: 23 Singing with Cheeky

Sing with Cheeky