Thursday, August 10, 2006

Hey! Its Thursday Again....

Which means #1 I am working waaaayyy too much.....and #2 its time for Thursday Thirteen. Now I was going to go in a completely different direction with this weeks thirteen but seeing as how the local paper (That would be the Star Tribune for those of you that live in or near Minnefreakinsota) has decided to piss off the Cheeky (and she is getting revenge and she is gonna sue - and she is gonna win - cause she has his name and # and when she told him to take her off the list cause she was tired of being harrased she wrote down his name and the date and he was a smart ass and said good luck with that - and then they were stupid enough to call back yesterday violating the the do not call act - now all Cheeky has to do is find a snake in the grass lawyer that is hungry - and the money is hers!) - I have decided to go with this:

Thirteen Ways to get Back at Telemarketeers

#1 - If its a bank and they want to loan you money - say - sure I just filed for bankrupcy - thanks for the handout....that'll shut em up.

#2 - As soon as they identify themselves as a telemarketer - just start saying "no" with various speeds and tones....very fast.....high pitched....very looooong....and most definately in the creepiest voice you can.

#3 - Tell them you work for their company and that they are not allowed to sell to employees and you are reporting them to your boss.

#4 - Tell them you under house arrest and then ask them to bring you some beer.

#5 - Tell them "Okay - I will listen to you but I probably should tell you that I am not wearing any clothes....what are YOU wearing?"

#6 - Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY cause you want to write down EVERY WORD they say. (then ask them to repeat it again to make sure you have it right).

#7 - As soon as you realize its a telemarketer - start screaming in terror - Oh My God!! then scream once more for good measure and hang up.

#8 - When they start with "how are you today" just give it to them - I mean after all they DID ask right? Well you know I have been a little constipated and I didn't think that discharge was anything to worry about but now I am getting concerned. And you know this really big mole I have on my arm?, well its starting to grow teeth.....blah blah blah...

#9 - When they call and ask for someone specific say - all aggrevated - "What?! You can't talk to me? I ain't good enough for ya? You just screwed up cause I am the one with the MONEY and CONTROL - thanks for playing - better luck next time.

#10 - Tell them you will play along with them but first they have to answer a few questions for you...weight, eye color, shoe size, what type of underwear are they wearing.......you get the idea.

#11 - Turn the tables on them - tell them you will buy something from them if they will buy this over priced tin of popcorn and wrapping paper from your child's school fund raiser,

#12 - Start listening and then start whispering "they are coming".....then whisper it again "they are coming" then shreik in horror...."They are here!!! make a static noise and hang up.

#13 - Or my personal favorite - just let them start talking and then put the phone down and walk away.....

Cheeky - who is singing her battle cry once again: We're not gonna take it - oh no we ain't gonna take - we're not gonna take it anymore.......


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Posted byWendy aka Cheeky :: 10:19 AM :: 16 Singing with Cheeky

Sing with Cheeky